Different Perspective ?

Well I had my 21st birthday last month on the 15th. And the only thing I have to show from it is a great night out drinking in Clemson with my wonderful boyfriend and some of his friends and a party that pretty much sucked. Why is it that now I'm older, I'm feeling more confined in my place in life? I'm still living at home with parents, have a shit job, and can only see my above mentioned boyfriend twice a month (I moved 2 hours away). I just want to live with him in our own apartment and us both have jobs that pay the bills and be engaged but barely talking about getting married. Because right now all I want to be in engaged. It might be weird but I really don't care about the wedding part. We could get married by his mom in a freaking backyard for all I care. I just want to be together and it be permanent in the eyes of everyone who believes in marriage. I'm mostly tired of being so far away from him and being stuck in this place away from any semblance of fun and friends. Every time I go where my friends are, they're either too busy with work or the other part of their lives that doesn't have anything to do with high school. I just miss how things used to be when I lived closer to them and was living in a more fun town than the one I'm in now. I feel trapped at bored, and this entry really makes no sense because I'm rambling. To make it short. I want out. Of here. And in a house with my man near my friends and starting a new chapter in my life. That's what I need. 

Fucking Losers on the Internet

I am so sick and fucking tired of people not having anything better to do than harass others on the internet. Get a fucking life or a job people. Cause I know all of those that do it are lazy sons of bitches who are on EBT or welfare and don't work for anything they get except fucking drugs. So stop your shit and go out and enjoy the world. It has a lot more to offer you than connections with others that you ruin because they have something you don't and you can't stand it so you have to make them feel like shit even though they aren't. Just read Kiki Kannibal's article in the newspaper and it made me sick that that many people would try and ruin this girl's life just because she put on some wigs and danced in front of a camera. Do you think you would have the balls to go up and do that to a stripper in real life? [not calling Kiki a stripper, lord knows she isn't.] Hell no you wouldn't have the balls. The only reason ya'll said anything was because it was practically anonymous. Get a life or go to hell. That's all you deserve you fucking pricks. Goodnight.

Untitled

I've been sitting here
Suppressing my fear that you would find out
Of my majorly little problem
Which you are the center of


You turn over and over in my mind
Making my stomach churn
Why is this happening to me?
I guess it's my time to burn


My heart is veiled with a black mist
Trees creaking and bending with its weight
It is soaked with eons of tears
And I've hung out to dry


Those tears are for you
And how you've plagued my soul
You'll never leave my thoughts
Until I die of old


*wrote in 10th grade

Rant

Just a quick rant.  Why in the hell are a ton of people I graduated with having kids??? And getting married?? Jeezes people we are only in our early 20s if that why are you rushing shit that is just going to blow up in your face later on? Its like every time I get on facebook I find out that someone else I've been in school with since elementary school or middle school has a damn kid with someone that I have no idea who they are and they are significantly younger than a person you should have a kid with. I mean I just got a job where I believe I'll be able to stay for a long time and haven't even gone back to college yet and all these other people are married with kids and working full time jobs and RUINING THEIR DAMN LIVES! Also kids younger than me are doing the same thing. It might be making me feel old but damn I'm living the damn dream because I'm only dating and kid-free! Please will someone blow this shit wide open because it is getting beyond ridiculous and I can't take it anymore. These people are just kids themselves and now they can't go out and enjoy life as adults and party and drink and do early 20s things because they have to stay home and take care of the damn fruit of their loins.  And a lot of the girls that are in this situation don't even have a damn hubby or boyfriend or anything. They aren't even teens anymore yet they're living the teen mom life because they still aren't mature enough to get pregnant and have a freakin kid.  Well I'm going to enjoy this time in my life when I'm supposed to start learning to be responsible and getting out on my own and paying for a few bills and not wiping some baby's ass. Have fun 20 yr old parents!

Me !

Well I haven't written in a while but that's because I have no internet at my house ! I'm at a friends and she does so yay. Just wanted to update online what's happened since the last time. I have a job. At Staples. Been there for two months. Moving to Union soon and I'll be able to get my own car have an entire upstairs to myself. And I'll be able to afford going back to school. Which is always a good thing. Don't want to be working office supplies all my life lol. Love life isn't really existent but there's something there with a guy. It seems to be working out fine so yeah. We'll see how it goes. Guess that's all I wanted to say.

Friends

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our  lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead  of consult with their calender, make room on their calenders. Those that don't let temporary happiness or highs come in between the memories and great times of the past. True friends don't talk behind your back or neglect you, they stand by you and respect you.

Unappreciated

No I don't have a job and no I'm not going to school but I still help in every way I can and I try to do what I can for my friends, and people who aren't even really my friends, but I'm still not appreciated for it. Am I ever going to be enough for anyone? Yes, this is melodramatic but it's what's going on with my life right now. What if I get too sick and tired of it and just decide to not help anymore? Where will people be then? I might not make that much of a dent when I help, but at least its something. And when it disappears you'll be wanting it back, well too damn late. Should have appreciated this more when you did have it.